Famous (dead) comedians best sketches redone for the techno-age

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were still alive, their infamous comedy sketch “Who’s on First?” might have turned out something like this …

Costello telephones a computer retail chain picked from the Yellow Pages

ABBOTT: Super-Duper Computer Sales. How can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue “W”.

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

Fast Forward to a few days after delivery…

ABBOTT: Super-Duper Computer Sales. How can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on “START”…….

Permanent link to this article: https://blog.astutium.com/2006/01/famous-dead-comedians-best-sketches-redone-for-the-techno-age/

Astutium Ltd Acquires BeamHost.co.uk CPanel Hosting and VPS Services

23rd January 2006, London UK. 9.00 AM

Astutium Ltd, a leading provider of domain names, email and uk web hosting plus many other online services to the UK small and medium enterprise sector (SMEs), today announced that it has acquired BeamHost (BeamHost.co.uk).


Our first priority is the catching up of all outstanding support issues, and customer service enquiries. Please bear with us over the next few days as we get used to the BeamHost systems and procedures. If anyone has any very serious/urgent issues, they are welcome to email me directly on Rob.Golding [at] OthelloTech.net

For non-critical problems, please use the usual online customer support system and one of the support technicians will get to your issues ASAP.

reported Rob Golding, Astutium Ltd Director.

The prices of services to existing customers are not expected to change and already preparations are being made to improve both the Shared Hosting and Virtual Private Server facilities formerly offered under the BeamHost brand.

Future plans following the Astutium acquistion of BeamHost being organised include:

  • Planned updates to all aspects of the organisation
  • Upgrades to existing servers and new UK servers
  • Extended Technical Support Team available 24/7 by ticket, email and telephone

Astutium Ltd are a UK Ltd Company, who have been providing internet solutions through dial-up & dsl services, domain name registration, hosting, dedicated server and colocation services for 10 years, operating in the United Kingdom, Netherlands and United States, and with customers worldwide.

Permanent link to this article: https://blog.astutium.com/2006/01/astutium-ltd-acquires-beamhost-co-uk-cpanel-hosting-and-vps-services/

Data Centre Expansion – Extends Space Within Redbus Interhouse Facility in London

London, UK, 30/December/2005 9:00am

Astutium Ltd, a major UK colocation provider, has again increased their footprint in London Docklands.

The company has extended its private “Clever Metal Suite” facility at Telecity/Redbus Interhouse II (Meridian Gate) by another 48 racks making an additional 2256u of colo available.

The latest expansion makes Astutium the largest supplier of colocation and managed dedicated servers within the Redbus Interhouse carrier neutral data-centres.

Space in quality London datacentres is almost exhausted, this ensures we can continue to provide colo within the heart of the UK internet in docklands well into 2006

reports Rob Golding, Othello Technology Systems Director.

Mentioned On…

http://www.datacentres.com/press/viewpress.asp?url=archive.asp&offset=25&prid=51

Permanent link to this article: https://blog.astutium.com/2005/12/data-centre-expansion-extends-space-within-redbus-interhouse-facility-in-london/

The new support system

The new support system, integrating knowledgebase, downloads, troubleshooters and support ticket management is now online and integrated into the client portal

For all future support, please go to Astutium Website
and login to the Client Portal (links at the top)

Support will still be available by email to support@, but use of the online system for tracking and management is preferred – emails will be piped in automatically but can take time to arrive, and time to be picked up.

All existing “how-to” articles have been imported into the knowledge base and work has started on extending it to be a one-stop self help system.

Any questions, feel free to ask.
Any problems, please let us know.

We’ll be migrating the forum to be part of the overall support system shortly.

Permanent link to this article: https://blog.astutium.com/2005/08/the-new-support-system/

A New Registrar Is Born …

Google, the ubiquitous group running the Search Engine, shopping portal , news group archives and world famous gmail have today begun plans to break into the Domain Name Regisitration market.

A quick visit to the IANA list of Registrars shows a new entry in the charts at number 895 domain pickers …
891-894 Unassigned
895 Google, Inc.
896-900 Unassigned

How long until they start a 1&1 type campaign of loss-leading sales to take-over the registration world ?

A quick glossary of terms, as they’re often misquoted …

REGISTRY is the company running the database which stores the allocated domain names, their nameserver details etc.
There are only a few Registries Verisign/NSI (.com/.net) , Affilias (.info), Nominet (.uk) etc.

REGISTRAR is the ICANN approved company that can update the registry with the details of a new domain name.
The IANA list above shows those allocated a registrar id number.

REGISTRANT is the person (a company is also a person in this respect) who is listed as “owning” a domain. Their details should be publicly visable as part of the WhoIs data . Certain registrars abuse their powers and allow you to hide such details from the public domain as a money-generating scheme, mostly used by scammers, or those “frightened” that the legitimate listing of the data will lead to more spam by the sh!ts who data-mine WhoIs information.

REGISTRATION AGENT is whom a registrant gets to regsiter their domain name. Agents may be a part of theregistrar themselves (for example registering direct with Nominet at £80+vat) or a member/reseller of one of the registrars.

Permanent link to this article: https://blog.astutium.com/2005/01/a-new-registrar-is-born-%e2%80%a6/

Astutium Ltd Acquires BeyondPerception.net

London, UK, 21/December/2004 9:00am

Astutium Ltd is pleased to announce the completed integration of another new addition into its internet services family … beyondperception.net

The acquisition of Northern Ireland hosting specialists BeyondPerception brings with it a large CPanel based hosting service, complementing the existing service offerings of CPanel/WHM, Cobalt, HSphere, Ensim and Plesk based business linux hosting packages.

After careful planning the companies decided to move the BeyondPerception UK clients to the Astutium DataCentre in Docklands, London, UK to provide the shortest hops and fastest access for the NI and mainland UK based businesses.

As part of the integration, customers have been moved to faster hardware and improved/newer versions of software, including an automatic open source software installer for cPanel.

All newly acquired accounts have been migrated, with 0% downtime from the end-client point of view.

reported Astutium Ltd MD Rob Golding

Astutium Ltd offer UK business online solutions for domain registration, email/web hosting, website design, programming, maintenance, merchant services, SSL Certificates, Dial-Up, ADSL/SDSL and Leased Lines, Dedicated Servers and Collocation.

Permanent link to this article: https://blog.astutium.com/2004/12/astutium-ltd-acquires-beyondperception-net/

Astutium Ltd acquires DesignRWeb

Astutium Ltd are proud to announce the inclusion of the
DesignRWeb business into the growing Othello family of internet services.
The inclusion of another first class linux hosting brand adds to our overall
strategy of offering quality personal, business, corporate and reseller
hosting on the widest range of technology platforms.

For existing customers the takeover should bring a greater level of
investment into the business, alongside more staff, UK and Europe based
transit services and system improvements. All DesignRWeb customers should
continue to receive the support and service they have come to expect, with a
vast array of new featires and facilities coming online over the coming few
months.

Planned changes and enhancements include:
* New server hardware
* More choice of control panel (Plesk, Cpanel, Hsphere, Cobalt, HELM)
* Windows Hosting by customer request
* Improved Reseller plans
* Divergent nameservers
* Increased performance from high-quality UK banswidth and peering
agreements
* Easier customisation of hosting service
* Online FAQ/Help Center
* Domain ordering Service

We have now obtained our own Nominet Tag (DESIGNRWEB) further reinforcing
the brand identity.

The DesignRWeb look and style should largely remain with a new website,
ordering system and forum coming online by mid-May.

Permanent link to this article: https://blog.astutium.com/2004/05/astutium-ltd-acquires-designrweb/

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